One Autumn Day

May 20, 2024

The storm hit the house like a hurricane,  it feels like I let it in, I opened the door and the storm came rushing through our home with such force I was left knocked to the ground and breathless.


I was in the eye of the storm, there was just the sound of low voices in the other rooms, strangers murmuring  in the background as my home was searched, every inch of my home was searched. Items bagged and tagged and then they quietly left. 


The storm hit again when they left, voices in my head roaring and screaming, how could I have not seen what was happening in my own home. How could I have been so blind.


The storm raged on for years, at times I was overcome with sadness and exhaustion but you have to keep going, keep fighting just about functioning. Sometimes, shards of light broke through the oppressive clouds and with that came reminders of a previous life before the storm hit but clouds would soon return and cover any hits of light.


Just recently I've noticed that the storm is no longer outside, it's not been therefor a while, but I have allowed the storm to continue inside my head, it's taken up headspace that should have been reserved for my own thoughts and feelings and not the thoughts and feelings that I had when the storm arrived.  


It was like going outside for the first time, surveying the damage of the storm and realising that in the wake of the storm new, stronger, roots had taken hold and there was new growth everywhere, I was a stronger and better person 


There will be be times when I will be hit by a storm, a mini tornado, I would shelter, seek stability, I  know it will pass quickly.  It will never be like the storm that hit me those years before, leaving me knocked from my feet, shattered and breathless clinging on to the life I knew before.

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