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I didn't want to become self-employed; it was the last thing that my family needed.
We had recently fled our home due to my children's father's online sexual offences (in the fallout of "The Knock") and were navigating extreme levels of stress and trauma. What I needed was to work for a few hours a week for someone else, get paid, and then be able to switch off. I also faced the challenge of a lack of available childcare. After being released from prison, my children's father was initially unable to help with childcare due to ongoing social services assessments. On top of that, we were in and out of COVID lockdowns, which added to the isolation, and I had no family nearby who could assist.
The idea of starting a new business from scratch felt daunting. I would need to retrain, establish a client base, market myself, network, and deal with the always-on culture of entrepreneurship. I wanted none of this. Thinking in the long term seemed impossible; I could barely manage to get through each day, coping with my trauma as well as my children’s trauma - involvement with state agencies was a full-time job.
Moreover, there were financial concerns: I had no money to start a business and no access to funding. Having previously run a successful business for ten years, I knew all too well the financial and personal costs involved in launching and maintaining a new venture.
Realistically, running my own business would not immediately increase my income; if anything, it would deplete it. It can take 2-3 years for a startup business to begin to see a profit.
However, despite my reluctance, self-employment was my only realistic option. With a lack of available childcare and as the only parent able to communicate with my children's schools and manage the school runs, the burden of responsibility for childcare fell solely to me. My youngest was a toddler, and the only available slot at the childminder’s was a few hours each week. This made traditional 9-to-5 jobs impossible.
Recognising the need for a career change, I decided to pursue additional qualifications. Fortunately, many of these were offered remotely or in a hybrid format, allowing me to access them at times that suited my schedule. For funding, I opted for income-linked government loans, which required repayment only when I reached a certain income threshold.
As a result, I planned to launch two businesses whilst remaining open to freelance work, both related and unrelated to the businesses. I aimed to leverage my extensive previous work experience, qualifications, transferable skills and lived experience to seek out freelance contracts. By establishing an immediate cash flow through freelance work - at minimal cost and using equipment I already owned - I could begin to allocate some income toward the costs of starting my other businesses.
My primary goal, however, was to escape poverty. Universal Credit was insufficient to cover our essential needs, so my children and I relied on a food pantry and a food bank to ensure we had enough to eat.
In preparation for launching my businesses, I found the following things useful:
I was called in to regular Jobcentre appointments as soon as my youngest turned two years old. I found it exceedingly difficult and traumatic because there was a complete lack of understanding of our circumstances and no support to find work during the hours I was available. The work coaches would just say the same things, repeatedly; ‘what are you doing to increase your hours’ and ‘we can support you with 80% of childcare costs’. It didn’t matter how many times I explained that I had applied for jobs, and I either hadn’t been successful or the employers weren’t flexible, that there was no childcare available after school for my primary aged children, they just didn’t seem to be able to listen.
It all came to a head one day when (yet another) new work coach was completely unsupportive. I had taken in two (well-researched and well-written) business plans and explained that I was going to launch two businesses as well as apply for freelance work – the coach laughed and mocked me, berated me for having taken time to retrain whilst jabbing at her computer screen and repeating ‘we funded you’ and basically told me I just needed to stop being lazy and go to work. The fact I had done voluntary work for two and half years whilst studying made no difference. I terminated the appointment in tears and asked to speak to the manager.
I made a complaint about the way I had been treated – not just on that day but throughout the process. The manager was kind and helpful – and listened intently as I sobbed my way through 45-minutes of relived trauma. I asked whether there was anyone qualified to support me into self-employment and whether anyone at the Jobcentre could look over my business plans. At the end of the appointment the manager suggested I get a doctor’s note for stress. This would allow her time to allocate me to the self-employment coach and would take the pressure off me. So, I went to see my GP who signed me off for a period of two months (over two fit notes).
So, I was temporarily protected from the horror of Jobcentre appointments which had caused my mental health to plummet. It’s sad really that the very system that could have helped and supported me offered no guidance, no signposting, no support into work and instead caused additional trauma, stress, and shame.
Within two months, I was allocated a self-employment work coach who was helpful and supportive in comparison to the other coaches. Although to be honest, the bar wasn’t set remarkably high – I would have taken a kind face, a smile, and a bit of encouragement from anyone at that time. The work coach told me that my business plans were sound and that they had every faith that I would make a success. They said that most people who register as self-employed whilst on Universal Credit don’t succeed, in their experience (not really something for a self-employment coach to be bragging about, in my view!). Once you become self-employed, you have 12 months to reach a ‘minimum income floor’ (in my case it was £750 profit). If you do not reach this floor, Universal Credit will be deducted anyway as though you are earning this every month. The Jobcentre, however, had registered me as self-employed retrospectively to before my fit notes, backdated to my youngest’s birthday - so I only had nine months to reach the minimum income floor!
If we consider for a moment that it takes 2-3 years for a startup to begin making a profit, the maths here ain’t mathing. It’s no wonder that the self-employment coach has seen so many businesses collapse! The support doesn’t match the reality, as with most systems I have encountered. And yet if nobody does or says anything about it, nothing ever changes. How many people who design such systems have been through the same systems, I wonder?
As a result of having entered two fit notes, I was called for a mandatory health assessment. I explained to the assessor when I arrived that I was not there to ask for more money in benefits nor to be written off – I just wanted to earn an income. I explained the challenges that my family had endured and the lack of available paid work. The assessor listened sympathetically and then tapped everything into her computer. I made one request – please can the minimum income floor be removed. If I have any chance of success I will need enough time, and the prospect of having money deducted in nine months’ time was too much to bear.
I received a letter declaring that I have LCW – Limited Capability for Work. This did not create any additional payment from UC. I never saw it in writing, but I think that they must have removed the minimum income floor as I requested as a result of the LCW status (although I never really thought much about it because within 14 months, I exceeded the minimum income floor and have continued to do so ever since). Nothing changed regarding frequency of Jobcentre appointments because of the LCW and when I was randomly discharged from the self-employment coach (because their specialist role was dissolved), I was thrown back into a merciless system where I had to attend monthly appointments and endure being asked the same robotic questions yet again.
I was scrolling on social media one day when I noticed an advert from Next Chapter Scotland. They were inviting submissions for a contract writing web content for the new website. It seemed ideal – I could use my work-related skills and lived experience to help in the creation of this amazing resource. I was suddenly overwhelmed with self-doubt - the past few years had taken a toll on my confidence. Not only the trauma of the fallout of The Knock and the scrutiny of agencies, calling into question my abilities, but also being overlooked and ignored as someone with lived experience. I had internalised a lot of this negativity. Nonetheless, I chose to ignore my internal voice and to go for it. I made a submission and found out shortly afterwards that I had been successful. I had my first paid contract!
From then onwards, everything else seemed to flow. A month or so later, I began working with another organisation as a freelancer – event work, which was perfect. I was also being paid for the onboarding training. Four months later, another contract, and so on…
In the background, I was able to build up my two businesses. Things that helped:
Happily, within 18 months of registering as self-employed, the Jobcentre stopped requiring me to attend monthly appointments, as my earnings exceeded the Administrative Earnings Threshold (AET). The AET is higher than the minimum income floor.
This experience showed me that I needed longer than the nine months that the Jobcentre had initially given me to reach the minimum income floor, but thanks to the extra time and sheer determination, I eventually smashed every floor and threshold required.
As my earnings increased, my Universal Credit gradually began to reduce. I still receive a UC element for my children, although not the full amount due to certain limits. Both of my businesses have become profitable. I now have multiple one-on-one clients and eight work contracts with various organisations and companies across different sectors.
These days, I often work seven days a week, fitting my responsibilities around my caring commitments. I had an instinct about the workload required to launch a new business, and it was correct. It has taken quality time away from my family, and recently I've had to reassess my commitments. It has been challenging to switch off because the past few years have felt like a rollercoaster of challenges and trauma.
To spend more time with my young family and to focus on fully healing, I have decided to step away from two contracts at the end of July. This decision comes after streamlining my workload and increasing my hours in other areas. Whilst I don’t earn as much as I would in a full-time job and lack certain protections afforded to employed individuals (such as holiday and sick pay), I love the freedom of working for myself.
I genuinely enjoy every hour of paid work and the variety that each day brings. Through exploring my strengths, skills, lived experience and abilities, along with sheer determination, I have proudly overcome the multiple barriers placed in my way.
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